From the Fortress of Solitude
Notes during a pandemic
SAMUEL SHENOVA
1.
The discomfort we feel with social distancing is evidence of our natural kindness. We want to hold doors, shake hands, hug, congregate. It is embedded in our nature. To act contrarily, even for the sake of our wellness, feels wrong. This is right.
2.
We are all the descendants of survivors. So we have the collective wisdom to survive.
3.
Our wisdom, from knowledge and experience, is at work at all times, even when we don’t think it’s wisdom. It’s wise to cry right now and to be angry, to be still and to be busy. Wherever you’re guided, moment to moment, see it as your wisdom at work. This will make you wiser.
4.
Valor isn’t in survival, it’s in what you do after you survive. My worry is that we won’t metabolize this far enough into our souls, that we’ll re-entrench in old comforts that might not be good for us. We’re learning who we are right now, as individuals and as a planetary community. My hope is that when this is over, we act from who we’ve become, not who we were.
5.
Anger becomes compassion the way water becomes steam. When you speak from anger, your words bubble and hiss and sizzle. But if give compassion time to rise, it will transform all that energy into more soothing words that haven’t lost their heat.
6.
Loneliness is the training ground of solitude. If you’ve ever been lonely, you are prepared for solitude, because in loneliness you find companionship in all things.
7.
The world is so staggeringly generous. Everything I’m eating and using, the rooms I’m occupying, the clothes I wear, the soap I wash myself with, the books I’m reading, the “toys” I’m “playing” with, were made by other people. And right now, outside of my little ecosystem, are nurses, doctors, cooks, business owners, managers, and countless other humans risking their safety and wellness so that others stay alive and comfortable. I’ve never sensed such generosity in my life.
8.
You can be happy and sad at the same time. You can be angry and calm at the same time. You can laugh and cry at the same time. You are never one feeling all of the time. So if you’re feeling like your fears and anxieties are taking over, look closely and you’ll see that there are flashes of happier, calmer feelings mushed in between. If you can catch one, give yourself a chance to hang with it, breathe and let it grow, even if it’s just for a minute. The darkest times of anxiety in my life had a ton of grace that I just couldn’t see then. But now I look for it and it helps ease that clenching feeling.
9.
Commiseration is a form of bonding and it’s necessary. But too much can make you forget the good stuff in life. So share your pain, vent your frustrations, but don’t forget to talk about how crazy Jennifer was on the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion.
10.
Some spiritual teachers I follow say things like, “There’s joy in doing simple things like folding the laundry or doing the dishes” and I’m always like, “Sure thing, doll.” But the other night I wanted to stir the jar of peanut butter I got (Note: I only got one!), which is a task I hate because it always get so messy. So I was determined to do it without making a mess. It turned into a 15 min event involving an additional jar for excess oil, a knife, a hand blender, and a glass of wine. Not only was it a success, but it was kind of fun. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m enlightened now. Namaste.